- me: wow i have 3 tests and 2 essays due in the next 3 days
- me: ayy i haven't watched THE ENTIRE LOTR TRILOGY in a while
- Doctor: I think you'll need a shot
- Me: AYYYYY
- Doctor: AYYYYY *brings out tequila*
when i die make sure that the song they play on the piano at my funeral starts with “mustard on the beat”
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking?
Because it was making him Moody.